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When I first moved to Minneapolis several years ago to attend graduate school, I naturally wanted to connect with other single people around my own age who shared my interests and values. One of the first things I did was hit the clubs, but they were loud, noisy, and not conducive to carrying on meaningful conversations.

Everyone seemed to be out for a good time, which is understandable — after all, clubs are all about having fun. But if you’re looking for something more than a temporary fling, I’d suggest giving clubs a pass except for those occasional times when you simply want to go out on the town to let off steam.
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In order to meet quality singles in a place like Minneapolis, it’s important to think outside the same old singles box. Sure, you can go to speed dating events, but how many people do you know who actually met their significant other through one of these things? None, I’ll venture.

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• Speed dating doesn’t even have the virtue of being a fun activity. I went to a couple of them and found them stressful, and I’ve never heard anyone say they had a good time at one. This is one dating trend that I’ll be glad to see die. I don’t think it benefits anyone but those who provide the venue because they can charge people money for participating.

• Online dating was actually preferable to either of the two options mentioned above. With online dating, I could get to know other people at my own pace. If I felt pressured or otherwise uncomfortable, I could simply cut off communication with the person who was making me feel that way.

• I also had the choice to remain fairly anonymous during my interactions with other users until and unless I decided to take things up a notch and actually schedule a face-to-face meeting with another party. Through online dating, I met several nice people of the opposite sex, but nothing really clicked. It was, however, a much better experience than speed dating.

• Joining activity and interest groups provides a pretty good way to meet people, but unless you seek out options exclusively for singles, you may find yourself shelling out good money to spend time primarily with partnered people. Keep in mind, however, that this doesn’t necessarily have to be a dead end because expanding your social circle never hurts when seeking potential romantic possibilities.

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The married guy who coaches your local softball team, for instance, could possibly have a single, attractive brother, cousin, or friend who routinely shows up for games. You could attend a New Year’s Eve party thrown by a couple you meet in an art class and be handed a glass of celebratory Champagne by your next partner. I’ve come to believe that being open to meeting new people no matter what the situation is the key to finding lasting happiness.

• I met the man I’m currently dating after a friend slipped me several party chatline numbers to try. Admittedly, I was reluctant at first, but it wasn’t long before I was happily chatting away with a number of fun, interesting people. I learned that you can tell a lot by a person simply by their voice.

I talked with one man in particular several times before we both decided that we felt comfortable enough with one another to take the plunge and meet in person, and I think it’s safe to say we’re both glad we did. I would recommend chat party hotlines to anyone seeking authentic connections to other singles in their area.